Yesterday Bebe's presence here in the house felt very tenuous. She barely seemed to be in her body. She opened her eyes a few times, and made a half-hearted swipe at me when I messed with her too much (I was trying to gently wash around her eyes). When she did open her eyes, though, she wasn't seeing anything in that room. Her gaze was very far away. Later on last night she fell into a deep sleep. I checked on her at 11pm and she was still snoring, sleeping, and appeared comfortable. I moved the bed a bit and kissed her goodnight. This morning when I woke the room across the hall from me felt very empty...and indeed as I tossed a robe on and went in to check on her she was gone. I never heard her make a sound.
I think she could have waited for a time when I was with her, holding her hand, but it doesn't surprise me that she went while everyone was asleep. Bebe has always been a private person...who valued her time alone. In recent days I know that she has felt the love that surrounded her, felt the easy weight of the cat purring on her feet, and known that she was safe and was home. But one of the last times she spoke to me she told me it was time for her to go.
I know that we will all miss her. But I'm so glad that her death and the end of her life was as peaceful and filled with joy and laughter as it was. I remain so amazed at how she rallied for our final family gathering...I will forever remember her singing with us as the chimes went. I am also grateful beyond words to have seen and been able to help her with processing the last parts of her life that were still hanging on and bringing sorrow or self-doubt. I was able to say the words that perhaps Bebe didn't hear, or perhaps just couldn't believe at the time, that helped her to finally heal some old wounds that she has carried for her lifetime. I am honored to have had the opportunity to be the voice of healing for her, and I am so glad that she was able to open to and receive that healing before she died.
There will be an article coming out in the Chagrin Falls paper soon about Bebe and her life in Chagrin. At this point, there is no Memorial Service planned. Gram had said she felt she didn't need one, and I have to admit that I feel that I am too disconnected from Chagrin myself to really plan one and do it any kind of justice. I invite you all who read this post (and I suspect there are far more of you than I know) to make comments here by pushing the "comment" button at the end of the post, and share your thoughts or stories. If among your thoughts are the desire to have some sort of parting ceremony for Bebe then state that too, and perhaps if enough people would like this than something could be arranged.
If you check back here, then I will post additional details about the newspaper article. Also, you can read the comments that people leave of their thoughts. If a gathering is wanted, then details of that will also be posted here.
I sent Gram with a request to take with her...Ash and I would like one more child, and would like it to be a daughter. I figured if anybody could find a good one to send down it would be her. She really liked this idea. If this works out, I would like you all to know as well that her middle name will be Aerene, in honor of my grandmother.
Lastly, please know that if you click on any of the photos in this blog they will open bigger for you, and you should even be able to copy them if you would like. You can also contact me at rncarey@gmail.com if you have additional thoughts you do not wish to share here.
Thank you all for your roles and your love in Bebe's life. She has left a trail of beautiful gifts, legacies, and love behind her...and part of that is due to your friendship and support.
PS- If anyone would like to make a donation of some kind in honor of her memory, the places she most supported (not surprisingly) were the Geauga County Humane Society, Petfix, NRDC, Defenders of Wildlife, and the Land Conservancy. I would be happy to provide contact details for any of these places. Or...on behalf of Gram...just go adopt a dog. With love,
Kate and Bebe
3 comments:
Kate - my thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through this final phase of Bebe's life. Thank you for being with her through her final journey. It would be my hope that a celebration of her life could be organized here in Chagrin so that all her friend here, and of course the real estate world, could say their goodbys. I'm sure we could be of assistance to help you plan something. Will continue to check the blog for any additional information. I hope you can step back now and enjoy the coming holiday with your family. Love, Nancy
Dear Kate and Chris, We were touched by your blog and hearing about your last days with Grandma Bebe. My words are inadequate in expressing how beautiful and meaningful the words and pictures have been to us. (a wonderful memorial service for those of us at a distance) We fondly remember your grandma Bebe's sprit and enthusiam. The experiences of her last days were so fitting with her life. Thank you for taking the time to share it with us. It was a joy to hear about your Christmas together. That memory will be with all of you forever. Your example of love is a wonderful inspiriation for our Christmas celebration.
Love, Mary Beth and Wendell
Thank you to those of you who have tagged in by phone or email, your thoughts and words help me to feel the amazing community that Bebe built up around her.
I wanted to update everyone that we are planning at this point to do a memorial service in the Spring sometime, possibly at the garden at Rescue Village? Your thoughts and ideas on this are certainly valued, so please share them. Also, please send your email addresses to me if you are interested in being contacted about a service as things get more organized on that count. Send info of that sort to me at RNCarey@gmail.com
Thanks,
Kate
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